A Mother Who Found Allah After 6 Surgeries Of Her Daughter

Muhammad Usman said:

“Your 8-days old daughter has a congenital heart defect that has no treatment”….I will never forget these words, as they came out of the doctor’s mouth and fell on me and my husband like lightening does from the sky! Our first born, ” Oh God! Help us, Oh Lord have mercy on us”
As nonstop hospital visits started and hopelessness started to build up, I cut off myself from the outside world and connected myself to one and ony one hope….ALLAH! As merciful as He is, he opened a door, made ways, our daughter Iesha’s 1st open heart surgery was arranged in The Children’s Hospital, Columbus, Ohio USA.

“Laa illaha illah Anta Subhanaka Inni Kuntu Minaz-Zualemeen”
Meaning,

“there are none worthy of worship besides You. Glorified are you. Surely I am among the wrongdoers”

Non stop recital of ayat karima was in my heart for He was my only strength and hope.The night before the surgery, the heart surgeon met us and informed us about the procedure that would take about 5 hrs and the risks associated with it. I dont know where I got this much confidence, this much strength, this much faith in my Allah that I smiled at the doctor and said, ” Sounds good!” Now when I think back…I know exactly where that confidence came from…ALLAH and His zikr in my heart nonstop.
The surgery was completeld in 2 hrs and Iesha was out of the hospital in 6 days Masha Allah.
Life went on…..
As Iesha neared the age of 6 yrs another open heart surgery was scheduled for her which was more extensive and risks associated with this surgery were greater. Another ordeal was ,telling my daughter about her heart condition and preparing her mentally, physically and psychologically for the big procedure. As little as she was I gave her a ‘tasbih’ and asked her to recite ‘Ya Salamo‘ whenever she remembered.
We flew to America once more and hospital visits and tests started, until finally the day of surgery was there again. With smiling faces and sinking hearts we said goodbye to our daughter.I still remember the nurses taking her bed towards the theatre and I looked up, closed my eyes and called Allah for help, for mercy, for rehm…

“Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyumu be Rahmatika Astagheesu”

”My daughter is in ur care now my Allah.please protect her”, having said this prayer I felt light and walked in the waiting area full of parents waiting on news regarding their children in different surgeries. 8 long hrs passed by, until my daughter was shifted to the ICU. After that every day was a struggle, a struggle to keep her psychologically strong, a struggle to keep her little mind occupied….a month went by, xrays, echocardiograms, bloodtests, small procedures carried on to flush out unwanted fluids in her chest by inserting tubes inside her chest and ribs.I rem one feeling only….PAIN…in my heart to see my child struggling and yet…yet…I knew one thing

“ Inna maa al usree yusraa ”
Meaning :
“indeed, with every difficulty comes ease ”

Finally after a month we were discharged from the hospital! My daughter had survived 2 major open heart surgeries…all by the grace of God,with His will and mercy. Alhamdulillah!
However, Allah had more trials in store for us…mayb the test of our faith wasn’t over yet. Iesha was diagnosed with Scoliosis of the spine, which in simple words meant that her spine was growing in a curve rather than growing up straight. Once again, hospital visits and doctor appointments started. Allah makes ways no doubt, if He closes one door for you, He opens up several in return. My husband got transferred to Karachi and we got to know of a renowned doctor who was the pioneer of spinal surgeries in Pakistan. Being the best in his field, his words were ” If you don’t get her operated right away, she will completely turn sideways as she hits adolescence” and her curve was progressing rapidly. “A girl in my class calls me tairhee bchee( curved girl) mother” said Iesha with tears in her eyes, her words were like stabs of knife deep in my heart ,” its ok my sweet heart, you will see Allah will be kind and soon after the spinal surgery you will be fine Insha Allah!”
Finally the big day was there and once again we were in the room outside the operation theatre with Iesha, waiting for the doctor. A team of aneshthesiest, nurses and doctors came to take her away. Waving her goodbye, I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall not wanting to go outside in the waiting area full of people.The wait begins….
This time I have a very powerful dua in my heart…darud e tanjeena. I had been reciting it so much that it was in my heart without having to read it from anywhere! This surgery included chances of nerve damage that might resuslt in paralysis for life. Not once did I doubt or reconsider getting my child operated because I had left everything to Allah, left for Him to make decisions for us and every piece was falling in place itself! Subhan Allah
The surgery was successful but the pain Iesha had to go through was excruciating…afterwards she had to wear a hard brace covering her whole torso upto her chin for 3 months. She had to go to school wearing it and once again my daughter’s confidence wavered as to what would everyone say when they look at her. “ Iesha! You are one special girl for Allah as He is protecting you.He loves you, for He puts only those through trials whom He loves.you are the bravest girl at the age of 7 years and im so proud to be your mother.Don’t worry about people”, was my advice to her.
Next 3 years were followed by another 3 small spinal procedures until the time for her final corrective surgery was up in Nov, 2013. This was it! Finally the last surgery which meant the end of hospitals, tests, doctor visits, nonstop travelling, worrying, reassuring Iesha, answering people’s queries….FINALLY!!!
Zikar of Allah never left my heart not even at night!
I had read that by reciting darud tanjeena a 1000 times, any harship or difficulty will go away. At that time I felt exactly like a ship trying to stay afloat the rough high tide of the ocean, caught in a storm.
I needed to get to the shore….
Reciting name of Allah was at it’s purest and at its peak…as the day of surgery neared, my emaan (faith) went up.
With high hopes and big dreams all 3 of us said goodbyes. I was so used to this sight now, white walls of the recovery room outside the operation theatre, nurses in grey/blue scrubs, anesthesiest and doctors in green scrubs, beeping monitors, faint odour of spirit and medicines, it was all too familiar now but believe me not at all reassuring! Sitting in the Dunkin Donuts cafe outside the theatre with a glass wall through which we were able to see the doors that led to the ICU and the operation theatre, me and my husband had only one prayer in our minds,” Oh Allah, help us! Dont leave us alone.” After a wait of 9 hours, we were called by the doctor and ushered in the ICU. The surgery had been successful! Finally! I felt free, light and happy. Spending the night in the ICU with my 11 yr old baby while sitting on a chair and monitors beeping all around, I held on to my book of faith tightly, QURAN, this was the only rope I was holding onto right now and knew if I let go…I would fall down in a bottomless pit! I started reciting all duas for relieving my child’s terrible pain, recited Surah Yasin as much as I could.

But……‘aazmaish’ (trial) was not over yet.

” I can’t feel my legs or move them,” wailed Iesha in pain and sedation. I looked at my husband and he looked at me, ” She’s just saying it because of the pain I think.” The doctor came and checked, Iesha had zero movement in her legs and sensations in one of her legs were faint and dying. ” This cannot b possible….how could it be? We were so close…Ya Allah! O Lord please have mercy on us…please let it be a nightmare and I wake up and it’s gone…everything is fine…” I held back my tears and smiled reassuringly at my husband, I couldn’t speak but we had now developed a bond of understanding each other’s pain and assurance in just one look. For 11 long years, we both had held on to each other and together onto Allah’s rope tightly.
All I can remember is a room full of doctors, radiologists, neurosurgeons, pediatricians, orthopedic consultants, surgeons, all looking at Iesha’s CT scan being done. We stood in the corner of the room…and for the first time I felt I was on the verge of collapsing…I was walking a thin line of either strengthening my faith and belief in Allah or a total loss of it in retaliation… when suddenly I had this one ayat stuck in my head,

“ kun faya kun”
Meaning : “ Allah says ‘happen’ and it just happens”
” Allah farmata hai ‘ho jaa’ aur woh ho jata hai”

” Allah …O my Allah you can do anything, its all in your hands. You are the Lord of all the worlds and whatever is in it and beyond it. Just help us, you have promised that you don’t burden a person beyond his capacity to bare….I have no energy left now, I’m tired. Ya Allah ya Rahmaan help us.”
The doctors decided to take Iesha for another surgery and release the pressure on the nerve that they thought was being compressed, as a result of which her leg movements were affected. For once in 11 years I lied to Iesha and told her they were taking her to the operation theatre just for a change of dressing. As Iesha’s bed was moved into the recovery room, the same team of doctors, anesthesiest, and nurses were waiting at the door of the theatre, all quiet and unsmiling. For the very first time in all these years, I couldnt say goodbye to my daughter, I could not hand her over to the team standing there, I turned around, ran out of the room blindly and broke down into sobs…the tears that I had held back for 11 long years now came running down my face like a broken dam. I went back to the room with my husband, it was zuhar time. We said our prayers and sat in silence each engrossed in his own thoughts.”Dont you dare get dishearted…do you understand? Just pray.” I said to my husband who seemed shattered as well and then I found the powerful prayer that summarized everything in one phrase,

“Hasbi Allah hu La Illaha Illah huwa Illahay tawwakkulto wa huwa rabbul arshil adheem”
Meaning :
“Allah is sufficient for me.There is none worthy of worship but Him. I have placed my trust in Him and He is the Lord of the majestic throne.“

The surgery was over, Iesha was shifted to the room. Doctors were hopeful that things would work out but how much time it might take for Iesha’s legs to start feeling, responding and moving, no one knew. It might take 6 months, maybe a year or so…listening to all the doctors I hugged my little secret with me, “I have my Allah with me.” Never had my faith been this strong, never had I kept awake whole of the night sitting on jai namaz and calling Allah, literally looking up I called Him again n again n begged Him to listen to me. ” Ya Allah You say that Your love is greater than the love of 70 mothers combined, then listen to me and make things easier for us. Show a miracle and make my daughter stand on her feet once again.”
Physiotherapy sessions started as well as our talks with our daughter,for the psychological trauma she was going through, was just too much for her. She couldn’t undertsand how she could not move her lower body at all and stand again when she had gone to the hospital walking on her own 2 feet, how can she wake up and instead of finding out its all over and she’s all set for a new life ahead, she finds out she is dependent on us even to change her side from left to right.
Finally we got discharged and ready to leave for our home in Lahore. The most difficult time was to accept the reality that Iesha couldnot walk so we had to buy a wheelchair for her. As we reached the airport, Iesha was very sad, dishearted and wanted to hide behind me,” Everyone is staring at me” she said. I held her hand n told her people must b admiring her courage! The 1 hour 15 min flight seemed to take forever as Iesha kept screaming n crying with pain.
At last we were home…but in a different situation than we had anticipated. Life moved on, physiotherapist started visiting Iesha at home and slowly her legs started showing signs of life!
The cold winter days were depressing and the nights even worse. The only peace I found was in sujood where I knew I could pour my heart out to Allah and He would be there for me. As the days passed, Iesha’s leg movements started getting better until finally the1st time physiothetapist held her and made her take a few steps!!
My daughter was back on her feet after a month and a half of the surgery.She could not walk very fast or confidently yet but atleast she was not dependent on anyone now. The doctors were shocked, amazed, astounded and happy beyond imagination with Iesha’s progress and success. They had not seen any case which had turned out like this and ended in a miracle!
Our prayers were answered…my faith was what had gotten us through this tough time and it got me where I stand today, very close to Allah. I found Him…He had always been there but I didn’t know it, I had not felt it, I had not been aware of it until I truly found Him…in my heart, in my mind, within me, around me!

I found ALLAH!!!

Nadia Adnan.

Note:
This story was directly told to Maulana Tariq Jameel sb in Lahore by the Author, and literally Maulana had tears in his eyes.

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