Help me about Islam & Pakistan traditions and culture

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Luca

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Hi friends....
I need someone who can help me about Islam/Pakistan traditions and culture. I need to talk about a "serious" topic, maybe it can seem stupid, maybe it may seem rude, but I need someone who can tell me how things are, if really Islam and Pakistan can make me happy and realize my dream.
I do not know who to talk about my problem with. I have a story to tell, I would like someone to listen it, openly without taboos....
 

This is my story. If someone wanna talk to me in private, and tell me about her/his experience, please, do it! Maybe via Conversation.


I've always been an atypical guy compared to Western guys: no drinking, no smoking, no disco, no *ex.
During my adolescence I lost all my friends because they loved doing transgressive things, while I was very serious and responsible. Here in Italy if you do not follow the mass they label you as a loser, problematic.

But since I was a young boy I had just a little dream in my heart: to find a good girl, get married and have my happy family. But this is not possible in the Western and Catholic world. In 28 years I have never found the right girl, and when I try to expose my ideals people have always humiliated me... especially Catholic people (women). They say that i need psycologist, that in this world i wont find my right girl because my "ideal" girl exists only in my head, ad so on.
So I decided to get away from the Catholic community and from God... because God had decided to leave me alone with those people so disreputable. I asked Him such things like "What is wrong on me? Why i cant be happy? Why girl are so corrupted with "zina", smoke and alcool? Why nobody believe in my same ideals? Why did you give me birth if there isnt space for me in this world?".
I tell you honestly: if I could give my life to a sick child who is going to die, I would do it willingly. At least i give a smile to a child that surely will be a winner, will realize his dream. I would find peace by dying.

But this summer (July 2017), while I was working as a volunteer at the hospital, I noticed a Muslim Pakistani girl (she was an interpreter for pakistani people who live here and cant talk good italian language) who struck me a lot. I had never seen such a beautiful girl, a beauty that I could not even describe. I saw what in Islam is called "Haya" (i dont know if she really was a "haya-girl",but this is the impression I had).
Although I didnt know her (we never talked, or better, we just have introduced ourselves). I secretly fell madly in love with her and i've sent to her a bouquet of rose (when she came to retire the roses I wasnt at work, and even if I had written in the note "by Luca" I do not think she remembered who I was...).

But a few days later I come to find out by other person that she was already married and that she was two months pregnant, so she stopped working. Death came in my heart.
When I think of her I feel like crying: because, as an idiot, I had the illusion of having a future with her, and because it is the umpteenth demonstration that I can never be happy.

But i still remember the first day i saw her: when i came back home, i started to read information on Pakistan and Islam.
A new world has opened up! Finally Islam described the world I have always dreamed of: justice, freedom, hope. And Muslim women were described as I always wanted: no promiscuity, no smoke, no alcohol. Perfect wifes and mothers. I started to dream women as our Maryem or Aisha.

I started studying Urdu and The Qoran alone, I decided to work on myself to become an excellent boy for a future wife.
I have read that many Pakistani fathers do not accept that their daughter get marry an Italian, and this has been an extra stimulus to study everything about Islam, hoping to show that even if I am not a Pakistani by birth, I can be the right boy for their daughters thanks to my sacrifices and my values. Do you remember when that young boy wanted to marry a girl entrusted to the prophet Mohammed? He was poor and unknown ... but the Prophet put him to the test by asking him to recite the Qur'an. In this way He understood that that boy was really the perfect husband for that woman.
And I would like the same to happen to me: I want to show that I am a good boy, I want every girl's father to be proud of me also through the knowledge of the Islamic religion.

But something of not nice happened in October...

While i was trying to improve my urdu, in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I asked her about Pakistani traditions and so on....and talking about some topics she told me that the kind of purity I'm looking for does not exist in the world of Islam, that girls have engaged before marriage (she had a boyfriend and physical relationships when she was only 16), that many girls lie about their past and other things so. These words shocked me!

So, i started to take other info...and a lot of people (incluse a lot of pakistani girls i chatted) told me: "Oh no! Dont do that! You will not find your ideal girl in Islam because in this world all girls had other men, muslims girls are the same as catholic girls, it's impossible for you to find a pious and virtuous girl at 28 years old, you should know that in Pakistan relationships are secret especially in teenagers, and when a couple are alone they do "zina". Stop living in disneyland world".

Dear sisters and brothers: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her, but i dont know how, where to start and especially if Islam can save me.
 
YOu are mixing two different things... Islam (Religion) & Pakistani SOciety.

While reading your StOry I understand that you are not Impressed by Islam, YOu are impressed by A Pakistani Muslim Girl.
Islam is a vast regilion & A PerfeCT COde Of Life. There is no place of 'Zina & hidden relationship' in Islam. But if we tAlk about Pakistani SOciety we can say thAt All fingers are not same.

in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I
This is the example. Different people of different mind but Always MAJORITY is discussed. So I'm feeling Proud to SAy That MuSlims Girls are ideal Girls, pious and virtuous. They do not have HIDDEN RELATIONSHIPS/ ChAts etc. Alhamdulillah.
Only Islam give us the Concept of a perfect women, Daughters are the apple of a father's eye. Sisters are pride. Wife is a partner and Mother is a Blessing.

: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her,
If you want to embrace Islam you are welcome, go through it. Embrace Islam for yourself, not just for a pious girl.
Thn Pray to Allah Almighty for your dreamed girl, He will show you the right path.
Searching girls on social media and having Private ChAts... (Are You serious ? :unsure:)

It is mentioned in Quran,
“Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity
 
Hi @Ana Zai
Thank for your reply.

Honestly, I wrote a lot (maybe too much), and maybe i have done too much confusion.

It's true, I dont should confuse religion (Islam) with that Pakistani girl. Absolutely true.

But, I would like to make you think: if I didnt have met that girl, how could I have discovered the Islamic religion (and consequently the Pakistani culture)?

Before meeting that girl, I would never have considered reading a single page of the Quran, for example...and I would never have thought that "true" Muslim women were compatible with me.
I have also discovered that the beautiful country is Pakistan and that the Pakistani people are very special, without the brainwashing of the European media...before, I didnt even know where Pakistan was geographically.

I want to know if what happened is just my paranoid thought, or if indeed my prayers to God have been useful to make me change my life.
I am 28 years old, I was born and raised for over twenty years in a neighborhood where the Muslim community is very high, so it wasnt the first time that I happened to see a Muslim girl.
I saw a thousand Muslim girls around me: in bus-stop, in supermarket, in parks... but I always had distrust for the advice they gave us (newspapers, TV, intenet...).
What happened that day? Why was I attracted to that girl? I dont know.

"Searching girls on social media and have private chats".
Well, i dont know who can help me with Islam and urdu language. Alone is very very very hard. So yes, I used intenet to learn and improve, i chatted with some boys and girls for to help me about my situation and I told them my story. I have heard testimonies that scared me a lot, stories that I didnt believe could happen..

I dont live in Pakistan and i dont know pakistani people in my city, it is obvious that to get closer to culture and religion I have to ask for help also through the use of internet....what should I do?

That's why I'm here, hoping you can "help me" solve all doubts. I had started a new journey, but someone stopped me and told me that the directions I had were wrong. That's why I'm here, I hope you can "help me" solve all doubts.
Now I'm still and I do not know how to continue ...
 
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