Falak
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Daughters in Islam - I & II
Allah Almighty says (what means): “To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.” [Quran 49:50] Allah is the One, based on His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever He wills, and grants daughters only to whomever He wills, and if He so wills, He makes whomever He wills infertile.
We notice in the above verse that the mention of daughters preceded that of sons, and the scholars
Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of how people were accustomed to dealing with females in the pre-Islamic era, when they would degrade women and consider them a part of their wealth, and if news of a baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he was hit by a thunderstorm; Allah says (what means): which means: “And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground? Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.” [Quran 58:59]
It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn ‘Aasim At-Tameemi, who was a pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his premises and captured his daughter. Later, one of these enemies married her. After some time, the clan of Qays and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this daughter of his the freedom to go back to her father or remain with her husband, and she preferred to stay with her husband. At that point, Qays took a pledge upon himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was, therefore, this man who introduced this evil practice, and thus he will shoulder his own sin as well as the sin of all those who did it thereafter.
One of the companions, may Allah be pleased with him, who had killed his daughter in the era that preceded Islam narrated his story: "We would worship idols in the pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when she was old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told her to follow me, so she did, until we reached a well that belonged to my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and the last thing I heard her cry was: ‘O father! O father!'" (Ad-Daarimi)
During the era that preceded Islam, there were two methods that people used to kill their daughters:
· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would order his wife to give birth next to a hole dug in the ground; if the newborn was a male, she would return home with him, otherwise, she would throw her into the pit and bury her alive, or:
·
When the daughter reached six years of age, the man would tell his wife to adorn and perfume her, then he would take her to a well in the desert and tell her to look down into the well; when she would do this, he would push her into it from behind.
There were some men among these people who would forbid such acts, such as Sa’sa’ah ibn Naajiyah At-Tameemi, who would go to those attempting to kill their daughter offering money to ransom their lives.
There are people nowadays who share these same pre-Islamic beliefs; if they are granted only girls, which is of course something decreed only by Allah, they become angry, discontent and grieved.
With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allah enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care of girls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated a special reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet
`Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allah
Pay close attention to wording of the following narration: the Prophet
The nature of this responsibility was further clarified in other narrations, such as: “If he patiently feeds them and endows them with clothing …" (Ibn Maajah)., and: “…Provides for them and marries them off…” (At-Tabaraani)., and: “…Properly raises them and fears Allah in the manner in which he deals with them.” (At-Tirmithi)
This is what is required when dealing with daughters: kindness, which results in Paradise, as the Prophet
A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by Allah, Imaam Al-Hasan
Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being granted a girl; rather it is an honour, a bounty and a gate towards Paradise. Daughters are a greate responsibility to rear, and entail greater expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them correctly is greater than that for a son.
Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving people when a small daughter of his entered the room, so he kissed her; a Bedouin was also in attendance and saw this, so he mentioned daughters in a very evil manner. A wise man who was also present witnessed all of this and therefore said: "O leader of the believers! Do not listen to him. I swear by Allah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who stay up to care for the sick in the family, who show mercy towards the elders, and who stand next to men during hardships."
A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and isolated himself from his wife for a long time, and after few months, he overheard his wife reciting the verse (which means):“…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you…” [Quran 2:216]
How many girls have been far more merciful and beneficial to their parents than their brothers? How many times has a son been a source of grief for his parents, to the point that they wished he was never born?
Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious attacks on the Muslims under the pretext of defending 'women’s rights' which is in reality an evil attempt to play on the emotions of women so that they will become rebellious towards their fathers and husbands, and to encourage them to leave their homes and demand their 'freedom'. This is a gate towards evil and immorality which gradually attracts women and then traps them in prohibitions. One cause of girls falling into this is people neglecting their daughters and undermining their rights, which makes them easily fall into the traps of the hypocritical writers and columnists, male and female, who wish to see corruption prevail.
It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our beloved Prophet
II
The fruit of raising daughters righteously is reward in this life before reward in the Hereafter; this is proved by the fact that Allah rewarded the righteous man who raised his two daughters virtuously, the result being Him facilitating the marriage of one of them to the honourable Prophet Moosaa, may Allah exalt his mention.
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would express his love for his daughters by, for example, making statements like “(My daughter) Faatimah is a part of me, so whoever angers her angers me.” (Al-Bukhari & Muslim)
‘Aa'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, recounted that Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, once came walking in a manner identical to that of theProphet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam; When she arrived, he
the ladies of Paradise, so I laughed." (Al-Bukhari & Muslim)
'Aa'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: “I have not seen anyone closer in physical appearance and character to the Prophet
This is how he
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would carry Umaamah, may Allah be pleased with her, during prayer whilst standing, and place her on the ground before prostrating. (Al-Bukhari)
Once, Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, complained to him
Also, when the family of Abu Jahl requested ‘Ali , may Allah be pleased with him, to marry their daughter, he
Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, was courageous and proud of Islam. In the incident when her father
This is how the life of the Prophet
Some people are truly hardhearted, to the point that they do not express any emotions toward their children. It is a disaster when a daughter is raised in such an emotional vacuum, because it is easy for any evil person to then affect her with his deceptive words and entice her into his trap, and this is how the calamity of fornication occurs. This is why we need to pay close attention to the issue of daughters and grant them their due consideration, especially when we live in an era where everything evil is available and within reach.
It is indeed a great responsibility to satiate the emotions of our daughters with the love they need from the hearts of their merciful fathers, lest evil men do this instead to achieve their vile objectives.
We must also give the same level of attention to our sons in this regard, because the problems we hear regarding our young men are due to the negligence of their parents. What is our role? It is, as Allah says (what means):“O you who have believed! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.”[Quran 66: 6] We must soften their hearts with a warm smile whenever we see them, and speak to them with merciful words.
If we do not pay attention to this issue, a day will come when our communities will be just like the immoral and dissolute ones.
A British survey of two thousand fathers found that: “Forty-percent (40%) of fathers feel lonely and depressed. They miss their sons, but miss their daughters a lot more.”
Some contemporary hypocrites who write in newspapers and magazines state that our daughters do not need guardians. They oppose to the Law of Allah in general, and specifically the ruling that prohibits intermixing between men and women; they demand that women leave their homes and 'prove their ability'. Why do these hypocrites wish to eradicate our honour? This mandates even more care and attention towards our daughters; we must raise them upon obedience to Allah and His messenger
Some parents allow their daughters to wear dresses that are revealing and which leave them naked, or almost naked, and this is a far cry from correct cultivation. It is not a reflection of love or mercy to our daughters to allow them to have their own mobile phone, or to have a satellite receiver in their rooms. It is not a sign of love or mercy to allow them to go to places where immorality is spread, or to parties, or salons where they pluck their eyebrows, adorn themselves and then go out like that.
We must convince our daughters that these matters are prohibited and that they must refrain from doing them, but in order to convince them, they must experience our love and see it in our dealings with them.
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